All Do, No Talk

By Cecile Lopez Lilles

There are very few things more agonizing than having to endure the company of a man who talks too much. Economy of words, I believe, is hard-wired into the male psyche, which makes the male motormouth a mutant -- an abomination of the natural scheme of things. Unkind words, you think? Sorry, can't help it.

If a man isn't a lawyer arguing a case in court, or a preacher delivering a sermon, or a Kristo in a cockpit for a Sunday derby, a jeepney or bus conductor hailing commuters over, or an auctioneer with gavel in hand, he should be sparing in his words. The genius in the architecture of a man's mind gives him the ability to condense his speech into only what is absolutely necessary, not a syllable more. If he spews them out at the rate of a couple of thousand per minute, something is awry. I have carried this bias for most of my life and have been fortunate enough to steer clear of such men until it finally backfired on me recently at the gym on a cruise ship where there were 1,800 passengers from 34 different countries.

I was running on a treadmill -- it actually appeared more like I was running after my breath -- huffing and puffing, battling against my cardio endurance, against all the unwanted weight I had to carry with each step, against my perseverance, and against my weakening will. I was soaked in sweat; my hair plastered firmly onto my forehead. There was a mirror some 20 feet behind me and I had a clear visual of my bottom bouncing away and swinging from left to right in perfect synchrony with my swishing ponytail as I struggled along. Eeew! Gross! But I couldn't have walked out on my own body, could I? So I bobbed and heaved, grinned and bore it, and soldiered on. I then noticed a young man lifting free weights behind me, facing my bottom squarely. Poor thing, I though to myself, considering the sight he had to endure.

Beside me, running on the next treadmill, was another woman, Caucasian, 50-ish, maybe 60, with a full head of gray hair, but she looked like she was ready to take on the New York Marathon. She cantered on, in perfect form and poise, blowing air out of her mouth at calculated intervals. I looked back at the mirror to check out her bottom, hoping that it it would at least look her age so that I could feel a little better, but boy, I couldn't have been more mistaken! She had a perfect little tush that sprouted lean, long legs -- the faster to propel her along that treadmill with. I knew then that I was going to have what I call a "loser day" -- when nothing seems to go right.

She was actually nice; I was the evil one -- checking out her bum and wishing her to stumble on the treadmill simply because she was 100 times more physically fit than me. She made small talk and offered pointers on how I could maximize my oxygen consumption.

If he just came up, got it over with, and spoke to me, I could tell him that I'm a mother of six and I definitely ain't buying what he's selling.

"Focus on something," she urged me.

"I can't," I said. "The sight of my bum in that mirror hanging behind me is much too distracting."

She broke into a giggle and gave me a thumbs-up for having a sense of humor. She then added, "Think good thoughts or home in on a single spot so you can concentrate, then be aware of your breathing. You want even inhalations and exhalations."

Just then, a young man, the same one I spotted lifting weights earlier, positioned himself right in front of both of us, just several feet from our treadmills. He was Chinese, I'm quite certain. First, he did some deep stretches, glancing at me every once in a while, prompting me to think that, hey, this guy probably knows me. But I couldn't place him; I had no recollection of his face and he couldn't have been my daughters' friend -- I know each and every one of them. The lady next to me asked, "You know the young fellow?" I knew then that she was at least 60 because only 60-year-olds use the word "fellow" to mean "man."

"No, in fact, I don't," I answered.

We couldn't help but watch him as he lunged very close to the ground, did full back bends until his feet faced one way and his face, upside down, faced the other way. He also did front and side splits spreading his legs apart, completely perpendicular to his body, making me flinch and wonder if he had any groin at all. He did all these while casting glances my way, more often now and for longer periods this time. S***! I was in complete awe of how much control he had over his body.

"Perhaps he fancies you," the lady running beside me joked.

I didn't think it was funny at all; in fact, I was a bit offended. "I don't think so," I shot back, although her broaching the subject started to make sense. The young man/contortionist was almost facing me this time, like the whole performance was specifically meant for me.

The lady just smiled and ran on along. Meanwhile, the young man, finished with stretching, started a series of crisp, precise moves strung together into a routine. It was clearly some sort of martial art and there was no doubt that he was excellent at it except that he had no opponent against whom he had to defend himself, so my judgment of his skill could have been totally wrong.

Anyway, the woman turned to me again and said, "You know what I said earlier about this man showing off to you as a joke? Well, I'm not joking anymore, he's deliberately catching your attention. Say something already, the poor thing! How much longer can he hold out, you think? One can only do so much stretching; he might dismantle his whole body!"

I thought that she was quite forthcoming but North Americans are no-nonsense in their dealings so I knew where she was coming from. I told her off as the young man continued prancing about -- this time flashing me toothy, come-hither smiles: "Here's the deal: I'm probably twice his age and I have six children, two of which are right around his age."

She did a double-take and blurted, "I'll say!" It distracted me from the matter at hand momentarily because nobody ever says "I'll say" anymore -- she was most definitely over 60!

I told her, "He's been at it for about 20 minutes now. If he would only talk, he could spare himself all the effort, all the trouble of performing for my sake. If he just came up, got it over with, and spoke to me, I could tell him that I'm a mother of six and I definitely ain't buying what he's selling, although it's an adrenalin shot to the middle-aged ego, thank you very much."

She said, "Then just tell him, for Pete's sake!" (There it was again; who says "For Pete's sake" anymore?)

"I can't!" I protested. "He might think me presumptuous. What if he were simply practicing his routine? It's going to be so embarrassing."

"Oh, we weren't born yesterday. Between both of us, there's probably more than a century of living. Of course we know what he's doing!" She broadcasted the age thing a little too loudly for my taste. "The poor boy," she continued. "If you don't tell him, I will."

And so she did! He stopped right in his tracks -- in mid-step if I remember right, on one leg, arms stretched toward the ceiling, palms clasping one another. Then, he jerked upright, looked at me... and scampered away. I felt so bad for him. I had intended to say, "I have two daughters, 24 and 22; you might want to meet them someday," but he vanished faster than I coould say "Abracadabra."

The lady asked me after the young man had left: "Was I mean?"

"Not really," I replied. "You simply divulged my demographic: age, marital status, number of children. You might as well have spilled my weight and waistline measurement. What could be so mean about that?"

Then we both broke into laughter.

Okay, now I have to alter my contention. Unless a man has funny speech patterns, an irregular, squeaky voice, or an incredibly thick accent like David Beckham, Rafael Nadal or Steve Buscemi he better stand up and be heard to save himself time and effort in gaining something or someone he desires. The concept of manna from heaven is a superstition; good fortune doesn't fall from the sky, one must earn it. Contrary to Philippine folklore, the guava never falls from the tree, one must flex his muscles and pick it.

So to all the gentlemen out there, don't talk too much -- but for heaven's sake, say something!

Taken from The Philippine Star

Altar-bound

By Tinna Santos Bonifacio

We revisit the Judy Ann - Ryan romance as the countdown to the year's most-awaited wedding begins.

Things have a strange way of happening when you least expect them to. When Judy Ann Santos met Ryan Agoncillo, she wasn't prepared to fall in love. When they were paired up in Krystala, she wasn't even that excited. She was not expecting anything from the show, much less to find someone, or fall in love. Judy Ann wasn't even that hot on the idea of putting on a superhero costume at her age. "Sabi ko nga, imagine, 26 years old na ako noon, tapos mag-su-superhero pa ako!" she laughs, recalling how she felt when the idea was pitched to her. "At saka sobrang haggard ako n'on, kasi sabay mag-e-ending ang Basta't Kasama Kita (her series opposite Robin Padilla) sa pilot ng Krystala." She was shuttling from one set in Tanay, Rizal to the other, which was in Zambales, and didn't have time for romance.

Although Ryan was not her type -- "Inglisero kasi; eh ayoko ng inglisero" -- Judy Ann became intrigued by his demeanor and the fact that during the taping of Krystala, this upper-class, Catholic school-educated boy would disappear from the set, only to be found off to one corner, enjoying isaw. After a few taping days, she realized he was not what he seemed. Rather, he was "jologs but cool". In Judy Ann's book, that was a virtual stamp of approval.

But Ryan had a girlfriend. Still, Judy Ann kept up the friendship. When Ryan and his girlfriend broke up, the two had the opportunity to take their friendship to the next level. True enough, it began to deepen. Through subsequent projects--like a three-hour interview for Cinema One where he was the interviewer and she, the willing subject--Judy Ann and Ryan got to know each other and fell in love.

Being with Ryan taught her one valuable lesson. "To trust...to trust and to show everything...to be very honest. Kasi I must admit, di ako masyadong honest. Lahat tayo, one way or another, may iniiwan pa ring privacy for ourselves. But I realized that when you finally decide to give your life to someone, you have to be very honest, masakit man o hindi. Ibigay mo na agad. That's how you grow as a couple and individual."

Over the years, their relationship would be tested in the most severe ways. But through it all--the quarrel with Piolo and Direk Joyce, the BIR issue, the Meralco issue and the stress of getting Ploning to the Oscars (and being there for her when it didn't make it)--Ryan stuck by her. Last June, after three years of being a couple, he proposed. And now, here they are, on the brink of what is probably the most anticipated showbiz wedding of the year.

The wedding will be typically Judy Ann Santos. It won't be a big celebrity event. She wants everything simple--or a better way of putting it might be to use the phrase 'non-traditional'--from the gown to the little touches that make every wedding special to the woman who will be at the center of it.

Oh, but you can see her excitement. Her eyes shine whenever we ask questions about the wedding. Still, that doesn't stop her from seeing the humor in it. It must be her way of dealing with pre-wedding jitters. "Masakit pala sa ulo [ang preparations]!" she laughs.

Is planning a wedding expensive? "I guess," comes the quick reply.

Do you have any fears?

"None."

Concerns about in-laws?

"Wala."

Her own family and friends? "Ngayon lang nila ako nakita na ganito kasaya," says Judy Ann, her mood suddenly reflective.

Definitely, they intend to start a family after the wedding. Judy Ann hopes it will be within a year of getting married, and that their first child will be a boy. "Actually, kung kailan ibigay, okay lang. Basta, gusto ko ng anak para din may kalaro si Yohan."

How soon do they intend to have another child? Turns out, she wouldn't want to wait that long. "Kapag naka-recover na ako at naibalik ko na ang katawan ko. Pero depende sa experience sa una! Kapag masakit, baka isa na lang!" she laughs.

Taken from StarStudio Magazine: Judy Ann Santos Special Edition

Treasures of the Heart: Judy Ann's 30 Most Special Things and Places

1 security pillows

Dalawang unan palagi dapat meron sa kotse ko. Hindi ako kumportable umalis pag wala akong dalang unan. Feeling ko may hindi magandang mangyayari sa akin.

2 necklace from Ryan

Para sa isang babaeng marami-rami na rin naman ang pinagdaanan sa aspeto ng puso, malaking bagay ang ipagkatiwala sa iyo ang kuwintas na nagmula pa sa nanay ng lalakeng minamahal mo. Simbolo 'yon ng pagmamahal at higit sa lahat, ng pagtitiwala. Nung gabing isinuot ni Ryan sa akin ang kuwintas, halo-halo ang pakiramdam ko. May saya, may kaba, pero higit sa lahat, napaka-haba ng buhok ko, umabot hanggang Pagudpod 'nung oras na yon ang buhok ko!

3 my cell phone

High school ako unang nagka-cellphone. Dinaig ako ng mga kabataan today na 11 years old pa lang yata, o mas bata pa, may cellphone na! Pero yung hindi high-tech na unit ang sa akin. Madalas ko kasing nawawala eh. Importante lang na may pang-text at pantawag ako.

4 our Oris and Tissot watches

Yung Oris watch, gift ni Ryan sa akin nung Christmas. His & Hers watches kami. Yung Tissot, binili namin sa Prague nung nag-Europe trip kami.

5 chef's garb

Madalas sa mga taping o shooting ko, iba't-ibang characters ang ginagampanan ko. May doctor, teacher, abogado at kung ano-ano pa. Nung mag-e-enroll ako sa culinary school, ang isa sa mga pinaka-aabangan kong makuha nung araw ng klase namin ay ang uniform namin.Una kong tinignan ang nakaburdang pangalan sa garb ko. Pagsuot ko ng uniform ko, katumbas pala ng pakiramdam na 'yun sa akin ay ang pagtanggap ng acting award. May konting kaba dahil siguro excited ako at babalik ako sa pag-aaral. Pero higit sa kung ano pa man, kapag suot ko ang garb ko, ibang tao ako, hindi ako artista. Isang tao na gusto maging chef, isang tao na bumubuo at tinutupad ang isang bagong pangarap.

6 Chiang Mai

Christmas gift ni Ryan sa akin two years ago. Nag-cooking school ako, at saka pumangas kami ng pagkarami-rami. Tahimik yung lugar, parang Baguio at napaka-friendly ng mga tao. Nag-bungee jumping kami ni Rye dun, na muntik ng malagot ang tonsils ko kakasigaw. Pagkatapos nun, bingi na si Rye.

7 Tagaytay

Kapg punong-puno na ng intriga ang buhay ko, o kaya pagod na pagod lang ako, pumupunta ako ng Tagaytay. Minsan, mag-isa lang ako nag-da-drive papunta dun. Wala lang, para maiba lang ang ginagawa ko. Kadalasan, gusto ko lang ng tahimik at walang kausap; minsan naman, kasama ko ang mga kaibigan ko, pero hindi rin kami nag-uusap. Ganyan ang trip ko noon.

8 Our Lady of Manaoag

We always go here nila Mommy kapag magpapasalamat or to simply just pray. Tuwing may bagong sasakyan, sa Manaoag namin pinapa-bless palagi. Hanggang ngayon, devotee kami ng Our Lady of Manaoag. Dito rin kami nagkakilala ni Fr. Sonny Ramirez. We became good friends, and until now, palagi siyang nag-ce-celebrate ng Thanksgiving Mass every Christmas.

9 Infant Jesus of Pampanga

Si Tito Alfie ang nag-introduce sa akin sa Infant Jesus sa Pampanga. Seven Sundays na magkakasunod akong nagpunta to say my Novena. After the seventh Sunday, nag-dere-derecho na blessings ko. Sa kanya rin ako humiling ng tamang lalaking mamahalin at makakasama habang buhay -- and after ilang years, dumating si Ryan sa buhay ko.

10 Antipolo

Dito kami lumaking magkakapatid; dito nabuo ang childhood ko, kaya siguro wala akong regrets sa buhay. Na-experience ko kung paano maging bata. Nagkaroon din ako ng chance na makapag-shooting ng pelikula sa dating school ko, kasama mga classmates ko nung Elementary.

11 Nintendo-DS

Maliban sa niregalo ni Rye (Ryan Agoncillo) sa akin yun, siya lang ang kasa-kasama kokahit saan. Pang-lilbang ko, saka ni Yohan.

12 my chef's kit

Kapag artista ka, importante ang kikay kit mo, ang make-up kit. Pero kapag nag-chef ka, ang pinaka-importanteng bitbit mo ay mga kutsilyo, pang-hasa at kung ano-ano pang gamit sa pagluluto. Simula nung mag-aral ako, hindi pwedeng mawala sa paningin ko ang tool kit ko at ang Chef's Kit ko.

13 my acting awards

Isa sila sa pinaka-magandang nangyari sa akin. Nagkaroon ng marka lahat ng pinaghirapan ko sa more than 20 years ko sa industriya. Excited akong ipakita sila sa mga anak ko at magiging apo.

14 perfume

Para rin syang lampin sa akin. Tatlong klaseng pabango palagi ang dala ko: may pang-formal, hindi masyadong pormal at saka pang araw-araw lang. Turo din ni Ate Mary sa akin yun. Dapat palagi akong mabango.

15 Café Ysabel

Obviously, dito nabuo at nag-umpisa ang mga pangarap ko maging chef. Hindi pa naman ako ganap na chef talaga -- struggling pa lang! Parang opisina ko na rin siya, kasi kapag may meetings, interviews at kung ano-ano pa, dito na lang namin ginagawa. Bakit? Eh kasi nag o-OJT ako dun.

16 pink Vespa

Birthday gift ni Rye sa akin two years ago ito. First motor ko at Vespa pa. After niya ako turuan mag-vespa for Super G., niregalo na niya yung Vespa sa akin.

17 the Roadtrek

Eto ang dream car ko talaga. Bata pa lang ako, gustong-gusto ko talagang makasakay sa sasakyang parang bahay. (Yun ang tawag ko sa Roadtrek nung bata pa ako). Nung finally, nabili ko na siya, tatlong araw akong hindi makatulog at tatlong linggo akong palaging nakangiti. Reward ko siya sa sarili ko sa walang humpay kong pagtatrabaho. Mas lalo naman din akong nagsipag magtrabaho. Nabenta ko na siya ngayon, pero masaya rin ako kasi natupad ko ang isa sa mga pinangarap ko.

18 gumamit ng lampin

I started using this nung nakasama ko si Ate Mary (Maricel Soriano). Malambot raw kasi yung tela, saka mabilis maka-absorb ng pawis. Mula high school hanggang ngayon, may lampin pa rin akong dala kahit saan ako magpunta. Sa ibang tao, kapag nakakalimutan nila magsuot ng watch, pakiramdam nila, hubad sila. Ganoon ako sa lampin.

19 Batangas

Mahilig kami ni Rye sa beach. Kapag may butas sa schedule namin, pumupunta kami ng Batangas to unwind and relax. Minsan nag-da-dive kami doon with our friends, tapos kwentuhan lang, ang sarap, at ang saya.

20 Baguio

Madalas din akong mag-road trip sa Baguio. Day trip lang, lalo na kapag wala akong pera. Aakyat ako ng madaling-araw, kakain ng breakfast sa Café by the Ruins, mag-ta-take out ng kamote bread at rice wine. Tambay ng konti, punta sa palengke, tapos uwi na. Ganun lang ka-simple ang trip ko: bugbugin ang katawan ko sa biyahe.

21 Greenbelt 5

First time akong maka-experience ng movie marathon sa buong buhay ko. Dalawang movies ang pinanood namin ni Rye nang tanghaling tapat. Sabi niya kasi masyado na akong maraming nami-miss na pelikula! Mula nun, updated na ako sa lahat ng movies na lumalabas.

22 NAPA Valley

Sa sobrang kagustuhan kong makakita ng maraming winery, dinala kami ni Ryan ng mga kaibigan namin sa Napa Valley. Na-in love ako sa lugar at doon ko nakita ang culinary school na papasukan ko.

23 Casa Marcos

Nung bata palang ako, madalas kami ni Ate Binay na naka-tambay sa Regal Films. Nasa Valencia pa ang office ng Regal noon, at madalas kong marinig noon na pupunta sila sa Casa Marcos para kumain ng pandesal at mushroom soup. Tumatak sa utak ko 'yon. Nung nakuha ko yung tseke ko sa Regal, pina-rediscount namin ni Ate Binay agad yung tseke sa NR Marketing, tapos pumunta kaming Casa Marcos para kumain ng pandesal at mushroom soup. Mula noon hanggang ngayon, para sa akin iyon ang pinakamasarap na pandesal at sabaw na natikman ko. Kaya siguro kapag naka-break ako sa diyeta, hindi pwedeng mawala ang pandesal sa listahan ng una kong kakainin.

24 my Rosary

Bata pa lang ako, palagi na 'kong may dalang rosary kahit saan ako magpunta. Kapag nabubwisit ako, or nalulungkot ako, rosary ang hawak ko. At kahit anong simbahan ang puntahan ko, I always make it a point na makabili ng rosary for myself, family and friends.

25 grocery - shopping

Maliban sa pagbili ng mga kailangan sa bahay, pupunta ako ng grocery kapag pagod ako sa trabaho. Meaning, segue ako sa taping at shooting. Ang ending, makakapagluto ako ng pagkain na pwede ng pumasa pang buffet.

26 my favorite footwear

Hindi ako pwedeng umalis ng bahay ng walang Chucks sa van. Mas madalas akong mag-Chucks kesa mag-slippers kapag nasa labas ako.

27 a Tiffany necklace from Ate Sharon

Nagkaron kami ng guesting sa isang talk show to promote Magkapatid. Sa end ng guesting, magbibigayan kami ng gift sa isa't-isa. Ang binigay ko, maraming ballpen na Hello Kitty at saka pencil case (mahilig kasi si Ate magsulat). Ang gift ni Ate, itong necklace. Iyak ako ng iyak. Kailangan pa ba I-explain kung bakit? Hindi na, di ba?

28 a cross from Jerusalem

Itong cross na ito, galing Jerusalem. Pasalubong ni Mommy sa aming tatlo, sa mga apo niya, pati kay Rye, nung nagpunta si Mommy ng Holy Land. Ang purpose daw nito, to keep us safe from harm and accidents.

29 identical rings from Magic Mountain

Sa bawa't biyahe namin ni Rye, may tinatawag kaming "To mark the moment". These rings ang unang-unang nabili namin bilang first time namin together na pumunta sa iisang amusement park and ito rin ang singsing na si Kuja Jeff ang nag-suggest sa amin kung ano ang ipapa-engrave namin. Priceless para sa akin ang moment na yon, na may singsing kami ni Rye at nakita ko ang dalawang lalake sa buhay ko na magkasundong-magkasundo. Nung time na 'yun, nakita ko kung gaano ako ka-suwerte magkaroon ng mga taong pumuprotekta, nagmamahal at nakakaintindi sa akin.

30 my engagement ring

Kailangan ko pa bang I-explain?

Taken from Starstudio magazine: Judy Ann Santos special issue

Angel Coffee Creamer

"I can't drink my coffee without creamer," says Judy Ann Santos when asked about her coffee-drinking habits. Like many people, Judai has become quite the expert when it comes to drinking coffee.

There are just certain things that are non-negotiable to her. One of them is taking her coffee hot, even at noon. "Basta sa tanghali, I want my coffee hot.. Ewan ko, alam ko mainit 'yung mga oras na 'yon, pero gusto ko talaga ganoon," she says of her quirky coffee habit.

Judai drinks at least two cups of coffee every day. Sometimes, though, she has iced coffee for a more refreshing feel.

Coffee has always been an important part of her day. "Natatandaan ko dati, 'nung Mara Clara days, nine to 12 cups of coffee ang naiinom ko sa isang araw. It kept me awake. Gising na gising ako kapag taping."

And always, her coffee-drinking experience is made sweeter by the addition of Angel coffee creamer.

Angel Creamy,
Angel Sarap
Angel Sulit!

Taken from Starstudio magazine: Judy Ann Santos special issue

How to Get a Boss

If you don’t have a job, but would like one, here are some things you can do to prepare for the working world.

Make a list of your skills. These may be technical, like typing, being able to operate a cash register or 10-key machine. They may involve special knowledge you’ve gained through classes or other activities such as sewing, cooking, repairing things, running a slide projector or working in a photographic darkroom.

Whatever your skill, have your teacher, club adviser or school counselor write a letter of recommendation stating what your skills are, what type of machines you can operate and so on. Take copies of these letters with you to your interviews.

Narrow your search. Do you want a job only to make money or do you want to gain experience in a certain area? Do you want an outdoor or indoor job? What hours can you work?

Prepare yourself. Type up your resume and make sure you have appropriate clothes for the job interview. Take a deep breath and…

Start looking early. For a summer job start looking at least a month before school is out. Ask friends, relatives and teachers if they know of any job openings. Look through the want ads and watch bulletin boards. If you want to work at a specific place, go see them to find out if they’re hiring. Even if they’re not now, when a job does open up they may remember your making that extra effort.

Make a good impression. Be on time for your interview, don’t chew gum and try not to be too nervous. Let your energy and enthusiasm show! Don’t be afraid to admit you lack experience, but explain that you have the desire to learn.

Don’t give up. Keep trying. Check back with a few places to see if anything new has opened up. Stay positive and you’ll soon be cashing your first paycheck!

- By Kathy Johnson

Taken from Youth 90 magazine

By The Way: WORRY, WORRY, DON'T WORRY

Do you spend a lot of your time worrying about things you can't control? Do you want to stop? Read on!

By Dexter H. Faulkner

In Guatemala there is a legend about dolls that can solve your problems.

The idea is that you tell the dolls your troubles each night before you go to sleep. While you're asleep the dolls solve your problems for you.

Wouldn't that be great! Just hand your troubles over to a doll and let it take care of everything. It would be a stress-free existence.

Unfortunately, of course, it doesn't work.

What does worrying do?

Facing a fate worse than death? Don't despair. You can learn to stop worrying.

Think of all the problems that worrying has solved for you. It's probably a small list. Worry does little more than cause you to lose sleep at night. (It can even cause health problems, such as headaches and ulcers.)

Losing sleep over a problem or event that you dread only makes you tired and cranky in the morning. Worry doesn't accomplish anything productive.

Many chronic worriers confuse worry with action. But there is no correlation between the two.

For some, worrying is a part of everdyday life. For example, when you get called into your principal's or boss' office, do you think you're going to be chewed out or fired? We live in a stressful age and it is easy to imagine the worst and fret over the unexpected.

But worrying about problems or things that could possibly go wrong is a bad habit. Like any bad habit, there are things that you can do to break it. You can stop worrying, and here's how to start:

The first step to overcoming the habit of worrying is to determine that you want to do something about it. This decision takes place in your mind and starts with a positive attitude.

Having a positive attitude not only makes you feel better, it helps relieve stress. A positive attitude also helps you solve problems better.

Positive feelings give you access to a wider range of information and ideas; negative emotions tend to narrow your focus. A positive attitude helps you realize your seemingly unsolvable problem may not really be as bad as it seemed.

When the principal, coach or boss calls you into the office, don't say to yourself, "I'm gonna get it." Instead, think of all the positive things that could happen, such as being moved to a better position on the team or getting a raise. Instead of worrying about everything that could go wrong, stop and think of all the things that could possibly go right.

And map out solutions or ways to avoid things you think could go wrong. Planning how to overcome problems is not the same thing as worrying. Planning is taking action -- worrying is doing nothing.

Better than a doll

We have access to someone who is much more qualified to handle our problems than the dolls we were talking about. God asks us not to worry or fret. He even wants our problems. He only asks that we trust him to handle them according to his will.

King David wrote many, many years ago: "Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him.... [Then] He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday" (Psalm 37:5, New King James Version throughout).

Give your problems to God. Put them in his hands. Let God look after you completely. That is what David is saying to us.

I once read that right in the middle of the African jungle, plagued by the poisonous snakes and insects, gnawed by hunger, harassed by wild beasts and sickened by the slave trade - even dying on his feet - David Livingstone repeated that verse five times a day. In that passage he found strength to go on, knowing that God would keep his promise.

King David believed that promise throughout his life. He said: "For You are my hope, O Lord God; You are my trust from my youth" (Psalm 71:5). This reminds us that we are all poor and needy creatures - young or old. Truly, our only hope is in the power of God.

The Great God offers to carry our burdens. We simply need to be obeying his laws and ask for his help. It isn't always easy to leave your problems in the hands of someone else, but that is what we are instructed in the Bible to do.

God is willing to take on our problems and handle them if we go to him in prayer and ask him to. And then we have to stop worrying about them and let him take care of things in his own time and way - which is the right time and the right way.

The answer or solution to your problem may not come in the way you expect, or even want. It will be in your best interest, though, and it will work out the best in the long run.

So, work on a more positive attitude. Give your worries to God, because that's what he wants. And he promises to help!

Taken from Youth 90 magazine