How does a Judy Ann Santos love?
The answer is, just like everyone else.
On this late Tuesday afternoon, under the shade of a nearby tree, outside a café in Quezon City, the bride-to-be -- it is about eight weeks to the rumored date of her wedding to Ryan Agoncillo -- is trying to hold back the amusement in her voice as we look back on the loves of her life, onscreen and off. There are the leading men: Wowie de Guzman, the late Rico Yan, and Piolo Pascual. But we are more interested in the ones we don't know about. These are the ones she has never spoken of, until now.
Her first crush was a neighbor in Antipolo. He was the brother of her best friend. The guy was oblivious to how Judy Ann felt about him. They would play bahay-bahayan with the stocks from the family's supermarket in Tanay, Rizal after it closed down. She would take her little packets of flour and bottles of patis and soy sauce and pretend to be fixing a meal for him. It was her earlier version of a kilig moment.
When Judy Ann went to school at Mount Carmel College in Quezon City, she was just like other teenagers who had her little crushes and suitors. Unfortunately, the boys found it hard to get past Ate Binay, Judai's trusted yaya who was tasked to take care of her and her siblings Jeffrey and Jackie after Mommy Carol left for Canada to work. Ate Binay took her job so seriously that few guys had the courage to pursue Judy Ann. But Judy Ann was even more scared of her than the boys were. "Kasama ko si Ate Binay, hindi ako puwedeng magpaligaw," laughs Judy Ann. "Matindi ang takot ko kay Ate Binay. So ano lang mga naranasan ko, yung papadalhan ka ng love letters."
There were some lucky guys who earned Ate Binay's trust without even trying. Judy Ann
mentions a "W" -- one who was an actor, and one who was not. The non-actor came first, but he wasn't Judy Ann's first love. We try to pry his name out of the recesses of Judy Ann's memory, but she giggles like a shy schoolgirl and says it was Ate Binay who had a crush on him! "Nung time kasi na 'yon, ang mga lalake lang na puwede lumapit sa akin ay kung sino lang 'yung bet niya [Ate Binay]. Si W na hindi actor, bet niya. Si W na actor, hindi masyado."Then she adds, almost as an afterthought: "May M & M bet ako na hindi nila alam, at wala namang may alam noon maliban sa aming dalawa."
The talk starts to really flow now. The memories come in a rush, starting with her team-up with Wowie de Guzman. The two of them together were a force. They became the number-one loveteam of the mid to the late 90s, making a string of box-office hits that included Sana Naman, Kung Alam Mo Lang, Wow Multo, Mara Clara: The Movie, Esperanza: The Movie, Paano Ang Puso Ko, Muling Ibalik Ang Tamis Ng Pag-Ibig, Kasal-Kasalan Sakal-Sakalan and Dito Sa Puso Ko. Through all their projects together -- and even with other leading men who came after Wowie -- Judy Ann learned how to maintain a certain detachment. She would refuse to invest too much of herself and her emotions because she didn't trust herself to make the right judgments. There was one man that friends warned her against getting involved with, but Judy Ann didn't listen. Her friends turned out to be right in the end. "Binalaan talaga nila ako na 'Wag na, babaero 'yan.' Pero naging malambot lang ako, at gu-mive in. Tatanga-tanga din ako."
So she learned the tough way relationships go in showbiz. She began to doubt if long-term
relationships were possible at all in the business. Perhaps, relationships were to be taken on a "per project basis"-- that once the movie or TV show was over, so was whatever bound them together. It was the bitter truth, despite how close she thought they were many of her relationships ended with the script. Wariness set in. Judy Ann would change her phone number after a project, just to make the moving-on process easier. This was before Ryan came into her life. She acquired a toughness that she adopted as part of her personality. "Hinahayaan ko lang, na 'yun nga, per project basis lang ito. Ine-enjoy ko na lang. Ayoko kasi masira ang trabaho ko. Nasanay na rin ako. Naging bato ako."Her friends became so concerned over how these so-called 'relationships' were affecting Judy Ann that they tried to introduce her to different men. One set her up on a blind date. Judy Ann was very tired from taping, but she went along with the idea out of loyalty to her friends, taking two chaperones with her: designer Paul Cabral and makeup artist Juan Sarte. During the date, Judy Ann could barely keep her eyes open. She kept nodding off. Turns out that the guy was planning to run for a political position, and being seen with someone of Judy Ann's stature would do wonders for his campaign. That relationship quickly went nowhere.
In or out of showbiz, Judy Ann's problem when it comes to relationships is that she is more prone
to trust and love then to distrust and detach. "Hanggang ngayon, di ko pa na-ma-master yung idea na don't trust too much. Ako kasi, kapag nagmahal ng tao, 110 percent ang trust na ibibigay ko. I don't know if it's a good attitude, pero ako ito, eh. Maraming beses na rin nasira ang tiwala ko sa tao, at nasaktan ako, pero paano mo malaman kung di mo susubukan, di ba? Minsan, kailangan mo din masaktan para matuto.
