'Weighty' Issues

Judy Ann never got the chance to meet her idol Julie Vega, but she almost felt like she did because some of the people Vega worked with on Anna Liza, like Renato del Prado and Juan Rodrigo, she worked with in Mara Clara. These people became her surrogate parents. One of the things they advised her to do was lose weight -- systematically and under medical supervision, since there had been insinuations that Vega's death was related to crash dieting. "Since tatay-tatayan ko naman ang marami sa kanila noon, ang palaging inaano nila sa akin is magpapayat. Kaya feeling ko noon, nararamdaman ko yung sinasabi kay Julie Vega."

And yet, Judy Ann didn't give in to the pressure. She honestly didn't think she was fat. When she was younger, she didn't go on any diets. She refused to, thinking there was no reason to deprive herself of the pleasures of food because she was still young. That was something she could worry about later, when she entered her teens. So she went on her merry way, eating what she pleased and rationalizing that by telling herself she would only be young once, and that there would be plenty of time to worry about her weight later. That time, like most young people, she was determined to live in the moment. "Mahal ko ang pagkain; puwede akong magpakasal sa pagkain. So naisip ko, bakit ko ide-deprive ang kabataan ko, eh hindi na ako makakabalik sa youth, di ba? So sabi ko, I might as well enjoy kung ano yung nandyan and then saka ko na lang aasikasuhin [ang pag-diet] kapag medyo dalaga na ako."

She grew bigger and bigger. But she still wasn't alarmed, not even when she hit her teens, and entertainment reporters started calling her names like "siopao", "mamon" and "aparador" in their columns. Still, the reaction wasn't instantaneous. These comments didn't really make her feel fat, nor did they make her feel insecure about herself or her weight. "Never ako naging insecure na mataba ako. Nung mataba ako, hindi ko naman naisip na mataba ako. Feeling ko pa rin naman sexy ako. Kahit mataba ako, feeling ko payat ako, mas payat lang kayo sa akin."

Judy Ann was as good as her word. She promised that one day, when she was older, she would lose the weight, and she did. It was the 2001 film Bakit Di Totohanin, where she played the role of a boxer, that got her started--not on dieting, but on the pleasures of working out. She learned how to do kickboxing and Muay Thai. She would get up in the morning, go to the gym and work ouot. Even after the movie ended, she kept on working out. "Na-enjoy ko lang din yung pag-wo-work out noon, kaya ako pumayat," she says.

She knew she had met her goal when soon a slimming capsule signed her up to be its celebrity endorser. Now, looking back, she has acquired enough confidence to laugh at herself. "Pagkalipas ng maraming taon, natatawa na lang ako. Kapag napapanood ko ang mga pelikula ko noon, nakakatawa naman talaga ang itsura ko," she quips. "Kahit ako, sinasabi ko, paano ako naging artista? Pero it was a phase of my life that I never regretted."

Taken from Starstudio magazine: Judy Ann Santos special issue

The Journey

Every star has that moment when she knows that the journey has begun. For Judy Ann Santos, that came when her idol Julie Vega died. When she learned about the soap opera star's death, Judy Ann disappeared, first into her room, then into the bathroom. She turned the doorknob quietly, pushed the door shut and stood in front of the sink. She looked at herself in the mirror -- then she cried.

In a strange yet funny sort of way, it confirmed for Judy Ann that she would become an actress. She was upset over Vega's death, but at the same time, couldn't stop watching herself in the mirror as tears rolled down her chubby cheeks. The little girl was mesmerized by her own reflection. "Umiiyak ako talaga, tapos bumalik ako sa kwarto ko, at umiyak ako. Tapos pumasok ako sa banyo at tiningnan ko yung sarili ko sa salamin habang umiiyak ako. In short, uma-acting ako."

But the journey of Judy Ann Lumagui Santos goes back much farther than that. Growing up in Antipolo, this baby of the family -- she had two older siblings, Jeffrey and Jackie -- had to make do with very little. Their family was cash strapped, a grocery they had owned folded up, and the separation of her parents split their meager resources even further. Growing up, she didn't have many toys, but she relied on her imagination and her resourcefulness to make things fun. Rummaging through the stock of unsold goods from their defunct grocery, she pulled out unsoiled packs of starch, and sold them to neighbors. The money she earned, she gave to her mom to help her make ends meet. She kept only enough for herself to buy a rootbeer. Then she would pretend to get drunk. "Doon ako sa puno sa likod ng bahay namin. Naglalasing lasingan. At feeling ko, talagang nalalasing ako sa rootbeer. Nahihilo hilo talaga ako. Parang totoo."

As the family's little girl, Judy Ann was especially close to her mother. Her brother and sister were closer to their father. Judy Ann was extremely possessive about her mom, and tried, in her own childish fashion, to keep her mom's affections for herself. She wanted to stay wrapped in that protective cocoon forever -- and if that meant shutting out her mother's suitors after her parents broke up, then so be it, Judy Ann told herself. She didn't care. When she grew up and started to become an actress, her directors would use that episode in her life to motivate her and make her cry. "May nanliligaw noon kay Mommy [nang magkahiwalay sila ni Daddy] na hate na hate ko. 'Yun ang ginagamit na motivation sa akin na ngumalngal ako talaga, kulang na lang magpapadyak ako."

Mommy Carol tried to understand her youngest child, but at times, no matter what she did, Judy Ann stuck to her feelings. No one else, not even her beloved mother, could make her feel any differently. "Hindi naman naloka si Mommy Carol," she laughs. "Naiintindihan naman niya kung bakit ako ganoon, pero sinusubukan niya akong i-console, 'yun nga lang, hindi ko mapigilan 'yung emosyon ko eh. Hindi talaga. Hindi ko maitago." This unrestrained show of emotions would help her much later in life as she drew from it to take on challenging acting roles. "Selfish ako pagdating sa nanay ko. Ayokong may iba. Bunso kasi ako kaya ayokong may iba."

Even in her younger days, there were already indications of the actress that Judy Ann would become.

Of course, their trip together through life has not always been blissful. The mag-ina would go on to have their tampuhan, then when Mommy Carol left the country to work -- because of which she missed out on a great deal of Judy Ann's pre-teen years -- it gave them a chance to step back and take a good look at their relationship. "Sa lahat ng mag-iina, the time comes na nagkakaroon talaga ng misunderstandings at tampuhan. Ang katumbas ng tampuhan namin ni Mommy, pag nangyari, ligwak ang buong araw ko. But these things happen for the both of you to have a deeper relationship.

"Mommy and I, we had a lot of catching up to do, because most of my pre-teen years, wala siya. Kaya minsan, nasa proseso kami na nagkakatampuhan kami. Kaya pinagdadasal ko lagi is for us to have more patience and more understanding with each other. Dahil kapag magkasundo kami, ang saya-saya namin.

At home with her sister Jackie, Judy Ann grew up in Antipolo, where she first went to school and made friends.

"Anak lang ako. Di ko alam kung ano ang nagagawa kong tama o mali. Mas higit ang takot ko sa kanya, di ko alam kung paano ko siya i-a-approach. Minsan, nag-de-debate kami, na ang ending, mag-so-sorry ako. It pains me when she cries, pero proseso 'yon ng paglaki naming dalawa. Baby girl niya ako, bunso pa. So she's really very protective. Pero hanggang ngayon, kahit matanda na ako, I still long for her touch, her hug, her comforting words. When we were promoting Ploning, ang dami kong kinausap, sobrang pagod at stressed ako. Pagkakita ko sa kanya, naiyak na lang ako. Pero pagkatapos n'on, puwede na ako humarap sa mundo. Iba talaga ang yakap ng ina. Sila lang ang puwedeng magbigay ng ganitong klaseng pag-aaruga."

Taken from Starstudio magazine: Judy Ann Santos special issue