From Child Star to Award-Winning Actress

Judy Ann got her first taste of television drama in the hands of veteran character actress Bella Flores. And then she wanted to quit.

Imagine the irony: Judai was eight years old, doing her very first on-cam acting scene, where she played a street urchin tormented by Flores' character. She still remembers that night: "First scene ko, kay Bella Flores. Sinabunutan niya ako at sinampal-sampal kasi 'yun ang eksena. Sinampal-sampal niya ako, sinabunutan niya ako. Nanginginig ako talaga! Tumakbo ako sa cabinet at nagtago. Ayoko na sa sobrang takot."

Eventually, she got over the trauma. Slapping scenes were all in a day's work. She had the chance to work with Bella Flores again as an adult actress. "Ngayon, natatawa na lang ako. Hindi ko naman dinala sa pagtanda ko yung takot ko sa kanya. Natatawa ako at sinasabi ko, 'Ikaw, ang laki-laki ng parte mo sa kabataan ko!'"

Judy Ann built on these small successes. She took it step by step. She started with small parts and worked her way up. The hardships and humiliation she had to go through from Ula to Mara Clara, they were all investments in a career that would pay off much later in life. It was only then that she would discover acting was her passion. The little girl who got dragged to an audition had been transformed. "Napagdaanan ko lahat, from being an extra to this, tinahi ko siya lahat. For the longest time, acting has been my life. Whatever I do, I do it for myself. I satisfy my passion."

To make it work, she had to start by adjusting her attitude, learning to put up with the long hours and hard work. During the early days, while shooting a movie or taping a TV show, she would sometimes feel that what she'd done was enough and say she wanted to go home. That had to stop. "May mga ganon ako kunwari, hindi ko feel masyado, or gusto ko lang maitawid. Then mare-realize ko na mali 'yon. Bad attitude. Kasi may mga ganoon din naman ang artista na 'Ayoko na, pack up na tayo.' Pero hindi puwede 'yon--kailangan mo talagang araruhin."

After fifteen years in the business, Judai hungered to reinvent her image and grow as a real actress. Throughout most of her career, she played the typical young star roles until she landed the lead part in Sabel in 2004.

Her character in the film was "a big leap". Judai portrayed a liberated woman who had a lesbian affair, and it was in Sabel, scripted by Ricky Lee and directed by Joel Lamangan, that she had her first-ever rape scene. Judy Ann was motivated to break down her own boundaries. but the motivation was coming from a personal pain. "Suntok sa buwan 'yung ginawa ko. Pero it was a decision I had to make because gusto ko nang mag-mature 'yung mga roles na ginagampanan ko. I wanted to prove to people na kaya ko. Kahit malaki ako, hindi naman nakukuha ang kaseksihan sa pagkapayat lang. Puwede mong iarte. At kaya kong gumawa ng isang pelikulang hindi n'yo iisiping gagawin ko."

The role gave Judy Ann her first best actress trophy in the prestigious Gawad Urian and also in the Golden Screen Awards of the Entertainment Press Society (ENPRESS).

Filming Ploning was another leap. This time, she was not just the lead actress, she was also the producer. She put a lot of pressure on herself. It was hard for Judy Ann, because the movie was shot in a remote location. She had to be away from family and friends, and could not go home and put her feet up at the end of a long day on the set. So she learned to adjust in other ways. During the filming, she and Ploning director Dante Nico "Ga" Garcia -- with whom she'd been friends since she was 14 years old -- signed a contract stating that if Judy Ann felt she couldn't go on, they would pack up the shooting by mutual agreement. "Hindi naman dahil naghihitad lang ako, kundi dahil pagod na ako," she says. "May isang eksena dun, yung esposada na nagsasayawkami na ang haba. Monologue yung linya ko nun, eh ang dami na naming pinanggalingan, tapos nung gabi ko na lang nalaman yung eksena na 'yun ang gagawin. Nakaset-up na, tapos sinabi ko sa kanya (Ga), kinausap ko siya, hindi ko magagawa ito. Magagawa ko, pero hindi ako magiging happy. Kaya pinak-up na niya."

It was the one and only time that filming was packed up the whole time they were shooting Ploning. Judy Ann felt a sense of responsibility. "Nasi-stress ako, tapos nape-pressure ako na ang daming negatibong kakainin, tapos lahat ng tao, ume-effort sa eksena, pero ako, hindi ako maka-effort dahil hindi ko maramdaman yung ginagawa ko. Nakakahiya sa mga tao."

After many years in a business full of hardships and challenges, Judai is at a point in her life now where she has learned to manage stress. "Guiding principle ko lang ngayon sa buhay is to have fun and be happy," she discloses. "Ayoko na ng stress sa buhay ko."

Establishing an amicable working relationship with people in front of, or behind the camera, makes her work stress-free. "I value the people I work with. As much as possible, I'd like to have a good working relationship with them. Hindi ko sila pina-plastic," the actress explains.

But the symbiotic relationship she has established with them is something she worked hard for. "Siguro I earned the respect of these people. It's a give-and-take relationship. 'Bigay ko 'yung kailangan nila, pero kailangan ko rin ng ilang araw na pahinga." It is on these days, Judai says, that she tries her hand at other things she wants to do.

She admits getting stressed by people who are quick to judge her. "Na-si-stress ako kapag nakakarinig ako ng nagsasabi ng 'Ang suplada pala niya,'" she shares. "After a hard day's work, and I hear that, I feel bad, at gusto kong sabihin, 'hindi n'yo alam ang pinagdaanan ko buong araw.'"

But she tries to address this by reaching out some more. "Isa sa mga rason kung bakit gusto kong nakikipag-usap, at gusto kong lumalapit sa tao ay dahil mahiyain ako. I try to open myself up to people na parang pare-pareho lang tayo, nagkataon lang na iba-iba tayo ng trabaho."

Taken from Starstudio magazine: Judy Ann Santos special issue